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Wait. This is Cries and Whispers. I'm getting a refund since I won't be able to hear half of it.

Whispering is the new dramatic trope for movies and television.

Since mushmouthed actors and actresses are the norm today, you will find you will need to turn the sound on your TV to full blast in order to hear what's going on. Just switching to captions will only get you "psst psst pst st pst psspsst" since that software has been pwnd, too. And even then, the loud breather next to you or your dog scratching itself will drown out all the talking. If you are lucky, your ears will adjust to whispers and you might even be able to hear the background music, too.

Suddenly, a commercial will come up and not only will your ears start to bleed but you might also end up with a window or two shattered. Then, all you can hear is ringing in your ears for some time afterwards. That can be a good thing because the next day at work, you won't have to hear your manager lecturing you about some mistake you never had anything to do with. Nor do you have to listen to your coworker complaining about the rash on their privates. Just remember to nod your head like you were actually listening.

Now you might think if you like movies that you should go to an actual theater to get loud enough sound to figure out what's going on. But you need to get there as early as possible for the showing since others will have the same idea. After all, there are only so many places to climb up next to the speakers so you can hear what's going on.

The solution? Forget about learning to read lips since if the mouths don't move, there's nothing to read. Stick to Michael Bay and Fast & Furious movies, the loudest possible. Since dialogue is not needed for those flicks, they are easy choices.