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Weasels carefully supervise the making of mysterious weaselpudge.

Weasels are weasely beasts doing weasely things for weasely reasons. They do this while squeaking out their theme song of evil, Weasel While You Work. And then there's Ron Weasley. The less said about him, the better.

When not busily creating weaselpudge, weasels are constantly looking for a snack or meal, often favoring organ meats. They are quick and very thin and can squeeze through just about any size opening. So if you are sitting there minding your own business and find that your brain is gone, a weasel probably snuck in through your ear or up your hooha and ate it. They're also well known for dropping roofies in your energy drink in order to remove a kidney to sell on the black market. Just be glad that you weren't completely hollowed out by a gang of them even though that would look pretty funny. Weasels are known to bring alien Predators with them for hunting games and piranhas for competitive eating contests. Last year in the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, a weasel broke the record by eating 88 hot dogs plus previous champion Joey Chestnut in ten minutes.

Worse, they are also political advisors teaching humans to be even more weasely than they are already. Otherwise, they write Winkypedia articles using their expertise at using weasel words.