Water cooler

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Early water cooler

A water cooler is one of the most important things in any office.

All life depends on water and most office workers are no different. Since employees would always cut holes in the ceiling to catch rainwater on their desktops, bosses decided to provide drinking water, usually bottled water delivered regularly by the minions of evil water companies owned by Neptune. For as everyone knows, water scooped out of street gutters and ponds tastes better than the watery sludge from the tap. Bosses liked it even more when they found that they only had to put surveillance cameras by water coolers to keep tabs on their drudges.

There are two major types of water coolers. The first is an evaporative cooler, where evaporation cools the water up to 1 degree. With water loss just from this, the water bottle could be emptied in less than a day. So these coolers are also provided with trap doors in front, used to dispose of employees who collapsed and died from lack of water. The second type is electrically powered. However, those units are often broken or just have a CD player that plays the sound of a motor hum. These types also have no water in order to save that precious commodity. The disadvantage of that system is that on Bring-Your-Dog-to-Work Day, there is always a long line for drinking out of the toilets.

Some wage slaves have attempted to fill their coolers with vodka, looking as the same as water but more fun. Unfortunately, It has been found that any piranhas living inside the bottle don't like it.