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Kangaroo armed 02.jpg

The wallaby is just like a kangaroo, only smaller, "they" say. Well then why isn't it a kangaroo, then? Wallabies hop, eat grasses, have pouches, the whole kangaroo deal. Critters called "wallabies" can be up to 2 meters (6 ft 6 in) from nose to tail, meaning somebody thinks wallabies are fish. But in any case, that's still pretty big. Then at the other end of the scale are pademelons, tiny critters that (ahem) look like midget kangaroos/wallabies. Where do "they" draw that line between wallabies and pademelons? Eh? Eh?

Now wallabies hang out in forested areas and rough ground where a "bigger" kangaroo would get clotheslined by a tree branch or trip over a rock. Well, that's just about careless kangaroos more than anything else. Real careful ones would do just fine. Does that make the safety-minded ones wallabies? It apparently does not.

And how about these populations of wallabies outside Australia and New Guinea? In France, Scotland... and Hawaii? Zoo escapees, my ass. Wallabies can fly! They're everywhere!! We're all doomed!!! Prepare to meet your new wallaby masters even though we can't them apart from kangaroos.

Now don't get me started about[edit]