WackyNews:Tulsa rally a success
Tulsa, Oklahoma – The rally held by President Donald Trump has been declared a "yuge success" as attendees will be carrying the COVID-19 virus back to their home towns and cities. This will allow red states to quickly catch up in hospitalizations and deaths with the more densely populated blue states.
The empty chairs and empty overflow standee area were explained as "a symbol of those attending in spirit plus the spirits of those already dead from the Coronavirus". Campaign supporters also noted that many were discouraged from entering the venue by invisible Antifa ninjas. Trump's rousing 2-hour speech essentially explained in detail how he knew how to walk and drink water.
This all will publicize the fact that COVID-19 is a plot by China to try to destroy Trump's popularity by proving the virus affects conservatives and the alt-right, too. While this then seems to let Barack Obama off the hook for being responsible, the president noted that it has never been proven that Obama is not Chinese nor an evil genetic researcher bent on destroying the country.
This coincides with many states lifting the health restrictions in place despite no sign of the virus letting up. Alt-right churches have endorsed this move since it brings us to the Apocalypse that they say is long overdue.