WackyNews:Social distancing a big hit
The new phrase is social distancing, and it is proving to be extremely popular with the outbreak of the COVID-19 virus.
Paul, an African-American noted, "This is great! Now everybody avoids everybody, not just black people like me." John, a freelancer, said, "Since everybody's got a mask on, it's so easy to possibly rob a possible bank or something. Who the fuck is this CDC that says masks aren’t effective?" Meanwhile, Elizabeth, a sex worker, had a differing view. "Now all the johns want to use these giant extensions. I'm getting really chapped and I don't mean emotionally."
Social distancing now has freestyle offshoots. This includes turning your head away and not making eye contact unless in a fight to the death for toilet paper. This is to avoid the Medusa effect of the virus where someone could be turned to stone. Other freestylers are not only keeping a 6 foot separation from the next person, but 12-15 feet or more while they check out their phones for more COVID-19 news. This has the secondary effect of causing those in line behind such a person to die from exposure due to rain or cold, further reducing the chance of exposure to the virus.