WackyNews:Social distancing a big hit

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Seagulls have been practicing social distancing for some time, either due to avian flu or for being sent to sit elsewhere in time outs by their moms for fighting.

The new phrase is social distancing, and it is proving to be extremely popular with the outbreak of the COVID-19 virus.

Paul, an African-American noted, "This is great! Now everybody avoids everybody, not just black people like me." John, a freelancer, said, "Since everybody's got a mask on, it's so easy to possibly rob a possible bank or something. Who the fuck is this CDC that says masks aren’t effective?" Meanwhile, Elizabeth, a sex worker, had a differing view. "Now all the johns want to use these giant extensions. I'm getting really chapped and I don't mean emotionally."

Social distancing now has freestyle offshoots. This includes turning your head away and not making eye contact unless in a fight to the death for toilet paper. This is to avoid the Medusa effect of the virus where someone could be turned to stone. Other freestylers are not only keeping a 6 foot separation from the next person, but 12-15 feet or more while they check out their phones for more COVID-19 news. This has the secondary effect of causing those in line behind such a person to die from exposure due to rain or cold, further reducing the chance of exposure to the virus.