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Vampires are Christians who have come back to life because "they can't enough of that funky stuff".

Everyone knows vampires exist almost exclusively on human blood though red Kool-Aid will do in a pinch. They also have superpowers despite not showing up in comic books much. In contrast, the Masai people of East Africa should not be included in this group because they drink cow's blood mixed with milk although they can shoot lightning from their fingertips. With the exception of Blackula, vampires are almost all former white Anglo-Saxon protestants (WASPs) that have come back from the dead to spread the gospel of Christ.