Lemon fish hair
Lemon fish hair is a condition affecting millions around the world. People and antelope so affected begin to develop hair much like that on a typical saltwater fish. If that wasn't enough, a strong lemony odor is released from the skin. This then causes a hormonal imbalance. Men will develop large and shapely breasts which would normally be considered a plus. But the breasts grow on the middle of the back where they are inaccesible for a good groping. Women will grow extensive facial hair so they can neither see nor breathe but it provides new styling possibilities.
Extensive studies have been done to solve the problem. This involves a careful regimen of megavitamin therapy along with radiation treatment and enemas using pea gravel and small firecrackers. This treatment has about a 50% success rate after 5 years of careful treatment. Prevention is the best course, so the Mayo Clinic suggests it might be better to not fall asleep in dumpsters in the first place.
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