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So there I was, working out on the wing of an airplane as usual when I happened to look inside and there was William Shatner! I'd recognize that toupée anywhere. He was right in the window seat over the wing. So I leaned into the window to say hi and he just went all freakazoid on me. At first, I thought he was just playing around because his acting is pretty bad and he knows it. But then he started getting scary and
Read on...

Alan Turing and wicked witch.jpg

So there you are, beavering away in your basement, teaching wildebeest how to sing Handel's Messiah or dismembering bodies in order to power your zombie portal machine. Suddenly, there is a knock at the door. You go upstairs to answer to find someone on the front stoop wanting to sell you the same encyclopedia that you bought last week or some handy dandy kitchen gizmo that you yourself invented.

To stop these interruptions to your important work, you will have to
Read on...

Did you know...

  • ... that if you have a song in your heart, it must now be in a compatible format?
  • ... in a race between a sloth and continental drift, the sloth wins only 16% of the time?
  • ... it took a real long time, but somebody finally gave light a speeding ticket.
  • ... that leaving no stone unturned means including Mick and Keith?
  • ... that the US Open is a lie and closes after 9PM? How's someone going to get a hot dog and a drink then?
  • ... that confuzzlement is its own reward?
  • ... that Leo Tolstoy began writing War and Peace on Wackypedia's DidYouKnow but quit after failing to grasp HTML tags?
  • ... that that's that and not a ziggurat?
  • ... All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
  • ... that the exact date can be figured by the length of day, so long as you have a long enough ruler to do the measurement?
  • ... that a pie in the face is worth two in the bush?
  • ... the hoover was invented by Henry Vacuum Cleaner?
  • ... that eating spaghetti while riding a roller coaster is not a good idea? Ask me how I know.
  • ... that lightning never strikes twice in the same place unless it does just that?
  • ... the lunatics have taken over the asylum? That means I get to choose meatloaf for dinner!
  • ... that I know you knew ten minutes before I wrote this that I would write this? And I knew it ten minutes before you even thought that?
  • ... that I'm Barry Scott?!! I'm here to tell you that Cillit Bang gets those tough mayo stains out of your sink, and not just on Cinco de Mayo!
  • ... that orange is the new orange? Again.
  • ... I have pants made of live ostriches and I'm not afraid to use it?
  • ... that colorless ideas may sleep furiously, but only Elon Musk can snore in pinkness while the entire world is awake?
  • ... that on 4 December 1857, in northern Canada, shit happened?
  • ... that the fastest animal in the universe is the housecat, who can rip through the fabric of space-time and your best clothes simultaneously?
  • ... that bananas are the cause of more fruit-related accidents than Harry Potter?
  • ... boredom is its own reward?
  • ...that Chief Little Crow (1810-1863) spent much of his life in Minnesota, where he was the head of a Santee band?
  • ...that the duchy of Upper Bavaria was created for the first time with the First Bavarian partition in 1255 under duke Louis II but there was no exact identity with the current territory?
  • ...that NuBlues was discovered by Grammy Award-winning artist Chris Thomas King, known to many for his performance in O’ Brother, but well known also as a performer in his own right?
  • ...that in 2000, Madoka Mako produced a manga titled The History of Japanese Christianity, a controversial work among Japanese Christians?
  • ...that negative pulldown describes the film perforations per frame, the direction of film transport, and standard frame speed?

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Seemed like a good idea at the time

The cake is NOT a lie! It's right there under the rattlesnake cake topper, I just know it!

The Tower of Babel was just a bungalow. Pass it on.

Fish fry fiddle flapjack. Fnord. All your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base.



The mysterious message left at the site of the Lost Colony of Roanoke.


I'm taking requests. Headhunter by Front 242? A-one, a-two...


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The the dog and some professionally trained idiots joined Ted on a quest for corn peace, rambling about Lucky Charms and such. Phwoar, did you fart?

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