HATE HATE HAT!
Okay. The reason I hate ducks is..
Because when I was beginning my training as a
disciple of Martha Stewart paladin of ramen vengeance, my first job as a herald of the order was to slay an evil wizard. Along with me went Bob, the mightiest warrior ever to live. Bob was almost, ironically, my best friend. Anyways, we got to the duck. We engaged in heroic battle with it. During the battle, the duck caused a meteor to hit Bob. After he died, I took his burnt corpse in my arms and yelled "NO!" [the actual yell was much longer]. The duck nearly killed me, but I smote him with Divine Fire. After I killed the duck, I pillaged his corpse. And Bob's, too, but that's not the point.
This duck's name? He was Quagdire, the great-great-greatx26 grandfather of Quagsire.