The Pickle

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The Land of Very Fermented Cheese, Jumbly 520 AD. It was recently invaded by psychedelic jars of barf. Flammable psychedelic jars of barf.

So I made it to the Land of Very Fermented Cheese to see if my beard was hiding there, but it seemed that a flying pendulum got there first and destroyed the entire region’s Finnish biscuits. Darn, I liked those things.

So then I hopped on my unicycle and toured Scandinavia, looking for more cookies. This was a logical solution, because an army of false teeth had invaded the area and kidnapped Winfield Scott Hancock. Why he was there is a mystery to us all, but we do know that another army of false teeth is slated to invade two months from now, this time bringing banana cheese into the fray. I must hurry!

Part 2.1655[edit]

Tally-ho, my dear mongoose.

~ Some random Uncyclopedian on NONSENSE WATERMELON CATASTROPHES

Mongoose? Isn’t that a kind of fig leaf? Now why would people be talking about fig leaves? A fig is a new kind of yogurt, am I right?

Not right? Darn!

Anyway, that is why outer space is made out of butter.

Part 21.655[edit]

It seems that my army of kung fu watermelons have revolted against the Mystical Misplaced Article. Why, I do not know, but the local sheriff is on it.

Uh, dude?...

~ Sheriff

What?

The kung fu watermelons stopped revolting. All is well.

~ Sheriff

Oh. That's good then.

Remember, kids, Illogicopedia is not an MMORPG; rather, it is a banana.

But back to the matter at hand. It seems that my army of kung fu watermelons have revolted against the Mystical Misplaced Article. Why, I do not know, but the local sheriff is on it.

Uh, dude?...

~ Sheriff

What?

You're going in circles. The kung fu watermelons already stopped revolting just minutes ago.

~ Sheriff

Oh. That's good then.

Part 216.55[edit]

I wrote an article. Rejoice, for toothpaste will now rain from the sky! And now I'm going to stand outside with my mouth open!

Yum! Original Crest flavor!

Breaking news! The toothpaste rain has ended and will now be followed by raining Macintosh Classics.

~ Weatherman

That's not good. The toothpaste has welded my jaw open! I must hurry inside and procure melted earwax before I lose all my teeth!


CRUNCH.


Too late.

Part Jelly Beans[edit]

Ooh...the colors...wait! This is not dolphin-safe! My eyes will now turn into raspberry jelly!

This part doesn't exist.
Therefore, you are reading nothing.
All of the above is a lie.
The line above is also a lie.
As is this one.

Part 2165.5[edit]

Dammit, the notability guideline in Wikipedia borked my nachos! I called IGN, but they couldn't fix it, as they were busy reviewing Extreme PaintBrawl! I also called Gamespot, but they were busy reviewing Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing!

I looked in the phonebook, but there were no nacho repair companies in the area! Looks like I'll have to eat them all borked.

Munch. Munch. Munch.

Hey, they're not bad! Tastes like a brick wall...

Part 21655[edit]

This part incidentally is the username of the greatest user on the planet! Who knew?!


The End.

...

Ha! I lied! This is not the end!

The End[edit]

This is the end. Goodbye, and don't forget to not get gingivitis, as it is known to make truck driving nearly impossible!