United Kingdom

From Wackypedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The United Kingdom of Britain
The Ukay, innit

Ukflag.png 797px-Nc-coffee-cup.jpg
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "Salty"
Anthem: Na Na Na
UKworld copy.png
Capital Londonchester
Largest city London, innit
Official languages English
Government Parliament, Monarchy
National Hero(es) Alan Sugar, Superchap
Currency Pound stealing
Religion British
Population 60,000,000, indeed
Area Richard Branson's arse back yard.
Population density Fairly dense in inner-city areas
Ethnic groups Diverse
Major exports Tea
Major imports Chocolate
National animal Mondonkey
Favourite pastime Cricket, Football
Opening hours All day except teatime (12AM-12PM)
Internet tld .ukay
Calling code 999

The United Kingdom is a place with a population full of cool accents. Unfortunately, due to overusage of British accents by idiots who aren't British, the British are slowly losing grasp of their accents and slipping into insanity, which is why Harry Potter exists.

British are mental but are not to be confused with the Birtish, residents of the island of Birt. Regular Britain is made up of Englandland, Schootlend and the Ireland of Whales. Super Britain is made up of tea cakes, a thousand acres of flood plains and Richard Branson's arse back yard.

The British aisles[edit]

Can be found in the British supermarkets and bowling alleys. In England, the latter is known as a Bouling alley by blooming eejits.


Main article: British accent

Yesh mayte innit mayte. Shave your head mayte you'll lose all your friends with long hair. You're a gay mosher INNIT. I'm going to bang you out... nobody move I've dropped my brain.

~ The Queen

The British are well known for their fancy accents. Why? Because they're fancy. But not French fancies. That's all.


The British are also well knouwn four putting unnecessary "u"s after every "o". Four the unitiated, this can be very annouying and cause head jams moure severe than thouse found on the East Lancs road on a Friday afternooun. Fnourdle.

Harry Potter[edit]

Contrary to popular belief, Harry Potter is not a real person. Nor will he fly to your house on his Firebolt and sweep you away. Nor will Hogwarts send you your letter. Bloody Muggles. You're Muggles, you can't get a letter.

Sob. Why won't my letter come?!

~ Author


Cough. In conclusion, nothing in Harry Potter is real.


You can get around Britain on oversized sardines made of metal. Freakin' awesome.

It is well known that Brits have an increased beverage consumption threshold. However, untrue is the belief that the British like to eat pants - in fact, they like to eat underwear, not pants. In addition, the following table outlines a number of similar misconceptions.

Perception of Britain Real Britain
Have no emotional sensibilities   Are very emotional about queueing
The Beatles The Rolling Stones
Have RP accents Have Norven (Lower class) or Suvern (posh) accents.
Ruined pop Invented Corporation pop

Notable locationaries[edit]

  • Essex – where the sun is seen more often than not
  • Londres - home of chip sandwiches.
  • Manchestoh - home of ship sandwiches.
  • Slough - home of some people.
  • Sheffield - where every Tuesday is tinhat day! Wohooo!
  • Twat-stugan - the Arse of the Nation (c).

Alternative literature[edit]

  • Everything is British
  • Superchap, Britain's answer to Superman
  • Britain is full of uneducated hillbillies
  • black power
  • black powe
  • black pow
  • black po
  • black p
  • black
  • black
  • blac
  • bla
  • bl
  • b
  • b
  • bl
  • bla
  • blac
  • black
  • black
  • black p
  • black po
  • blackpow
  • blackpowe
  • blackpower