|Anthem: Na Na Na|
|Largest city||London, innit|
|National Hero(es)||Alan Sugar, Superchap|
|Area||Richard Branson's |
|Population density||Fairly dense in inner-city areas|
|Favourite pastime||Cricket, Football|
|Opening hours||All day except teatime (12AM-12PM)|
The United Kingdom is a place with a population full of cool accents. Unfortunately, due to overusage of British accents by idiots who aren't British, the British are slowly losing grasp of their accents and slipping into insanity, which is why Harry Potter exists.
British are mental but are not to be confused with the Birtish, residents of the island of Birt. Regular Britain is made up of Englandland, Schootlend and the Ireland of Whales. Super Britain is made up of tea cakes, a thousand acres of flood plains and Richard Branson's
arse back yard.
The British aisles
- Main article: British accent
The British are well known for their fancy accents. Why? Because they're fancy. But not French fancies. That's all.
The British are also well knouwn four putting unnecessary "u"s after every "o". Four the unitiated, this can be very annouying and cause head jams moure severe than thouse found on the East Lancs road on a Friday afternooun. Fnourdle.
Contrary to popular belief, Harry Potter is not a real person. Nor will he fly to your house on his Firebolt and sweep you away. Nor will Hogwarts send you your letter. Bloody Muggles. You're Muggles, you can't get a letter.
“Sob. Why won't my letter come?!”
Boom boom. OH NO, QUICK RUN FROM THE TRAIN STATION!
Cough. In conclusion, nothing in Harry Potter is real.
It is well known that Brits have an increased beverage consumption threshold. However, untrue is the belief that the British like to eat pants - in fact, they like to eat underwear, not pants. In addition, the following table outlines a number of similar misconceptions.
|Perception of Britain||Real Britain|
|Have no emotional sensibilities||Are very emotional about queueing|
|The Beatles||The Rolling Stones|
|Have RP accents||Have Norven (Lower class) or Suvern (posh) accents.|
|Ruined pop||Invented Corporation pop|
- Essex – where the sun is seen more often than not
- Londres - home of chip sandwiches.
- Manchestoh - home of ship sandwiches.
- Slough - home of some people.
- Sheffield - where every Tuesday is tinhat day! Wohooo!
- Twat-stugan - the Arse of the Nation (c).