Turtles are the dominant species on the planet. Although turtles do not rule the universe yet, the great prophecy of beans and taters states that they will rise to power in 1999. By 2008 they will enslave everyone. Also, Michael Jordan.
The history of turtles
The first turtle was spotted in 2003 when someone discovered one in their bottle of Aunt Jemimamima maple syrup. Turtles are the awesomest creatures on Earth and are 3 x 2038 kabilligillion times awesomer than humans. Also, turtles like beans.
Pictures of turtles (yay!)
A picture of a turtle doing nothing in particular.
A picture of a turtle eating cheese.
A picture of Bill Gates.
Turtles as pets
Turtles do not make very good pets, as they are carnivorous beasts that can grow to be 4 million feet tall. They feast on human flesh when agitated and have hard metal shells that deflect flying monkey laser beams. Some species have spikes shooting out of their bodies. These species use the spikes to sharpen pencils and cut open those annoying plastic packages.
Bob the Builder
Bye everyone. Buy snowcones.