Iffen I told ya once, I told ya a thousand times, ya haffta trim the wicks on the oil lamps otherwise they gits too hot and bright. An' lamp oil costs money, you know. Money don't grow on trees, neither. No, I said money don't grow on trees. It's monkeys that grow on trees, ya smartalec.
I done told ya to trim the Christmas tree months ago and you just let it go. Forgot, eh? Well, there's yer spontaneous combustion for ye, and it's done turned half the place into toast. No, don't move, it's too late now. But the next time, waaal, I suppose maybe I can git ye to do stuff iffen I promises ya turkey with all the trimmin's? No answer, huh?
Wait a minute. I don't have any kids. And you guys are all turkeys! My apologies about that last comment. Just go back to your video game. But remember what I said about the lamps!
Huh. I wonder how them birds are playing video games. We ain't got no 'lectricity.