This article causes death

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Beware, he could slice you up in seconds.

No, really it does.

Just the other day, you know, I saw this guy, he was... like a guy, and he was on his computer, and then suddenly he exploded and there was like guts everywhere, brakazoom, splat, my glasses were wet with blood, it was funny, but banana. And I saw it, he was reading this very article. Not this one, the other one. And he died, died I say. So don't read this article. Unless, of course, you've already read it, in that case, have a nice time not dying....no wait, that's wrong.

This article causes death, and if it doesn't, I guarantee you can have your money back.....though usually you can't...but you never heard that, because you have read this and hence death is nigh!!!! NIGH? No wait, don't you mean thigh? No i meant knee? Then why nigh?

Don't ask why.

But anyway, may this article not cause death, you may not have your un-money back, hence making you never having money in the first place.....because you had given it to us, and we are actually conmen!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAH! You will never find out this evil plan...... man, I gotta stop talking while people are behind my back.

But anyway.... you heard nothing, because by the time you try and report it, you would've read this article to find out what I said, that means you have died!!!!!

MU HA HA HA HA HA!