Things to remember

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These are the nine most important things to learn and memorize before you die:

  • He who hesitates is lost.
  • Look before you leap.
  • Money can't buy you love. But it can buy you ice cream. Close enough.
  • Never loan out your personal tin foil hat. Illuminati fairies can mess up the paranoia within.
  • Throwing out Brussels sprouts is the answer to everything. Do not question this.
  • Never try to eat your own head in a sandwich. They just don't make bread slices that are big enough.
  • The Balding Monkey of Happiness always follows the Chicken of Depression.
  • The curved donkey never brings rice noodles to a Argentinian hole digging expedition.
  • Bungle bargle flunkle tosspot gangle dinsploof wrexpolka. Always

Okay, got it? Now Die.