There will be blood

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Maleva the Gypsy.jpg

Madame Maleva gazed intently into her crystal ball.

There will be blood.

~ Maleva

But will there be cake?

~ Me, hopeful

I see only blood. Oceans of blood.

~ Maleva, scowling

Okay, I'm bringing something to drink. I'm no vampire.

~ Me

I now see much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

~ Maleva

Yeah, they said that all the relatives are coming and there might be problems. Wait a sec. Are we talking about the same thing?

~ Me

Yes. Theresa and Jerry's gender reveal party. It is why you came to Maleva, no?

~ Maleva

Sorry to doubt you. I didn't expect such a dramatic reading. Uh, maybe I shouldn't ask, but I'm dying of curiosity. Is it going to be a boy or girl?

~ Me

The wise man would prefer not to know of such things. But, it will be neither and both.

~ Maleva

WTF??? Genderqueer, maybe? Oh, you mean twins of different sexes?

~ Me

More than that. It will have one body and three heads. It will be what has become to be known as the Anti-Christ.

~ Maleva

Whoa! That's actually going to be great news! Theresa and Jerry are members of a doomsday cult and they'll be so proud of their little... whatever.

~ Me

Consult also[edit]