Typical bathroom stall conversation

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“Can you spare a square?”

Warning: this article contains toilet humor.

Person 1 hears grunting from the stall next to him, he decides to check out what's wrong

Person 1: Hey everything alright over there?
Person 2: Urgh... Uh... Wha?
Person 1: Is everything alright?
Person 2: Not really, I kinda ate a burger I didn't realize it has cheese on it.
Person 1: What's wrong with cheese?
Person 2: I'm lactose intolerant.
Person 1: Ah... So are ya gettin' it out?
Person 2: Part of it is slidin' out as we spea-. Uh.... Ah.. I got it out.
Person 1: So is everything okay now?
Person 2: S***! There's no more toilet paper!
Person 1: Oh, that's not good.
Person 2: Do you got any left?
Person 1: Nope. What about the third stall?
Person 2: Can ya check it?
Person 1: Sure.

Person 1 goes over to check the third stall and opens the door

Person 1: Oh crap, there's an old guy.
Old Guy: What in tarnation? Who are you? I'm callin' the police.
Person 1: Woah, all I want is some toilet paper.
Old Guy: Oh, take this.

The old guy hands him a roll of toilet paper. Person 1 throws it over the stall to Person 2 uses it and flushes.

Person 2: Oh crap!
Person 1: What?
Person 2: It clogged!
Person 1: Oh my god, what are we gonna do? Oh my god!!!

Person 2 rushes out of the stall with water rushing out of the toilet

Person 2: Oh my god! I see a turd.
Person 1: Okay, we need to find a plunger.
Person 2: Oh, I see one.
Person 1: Where?
Person 2: Oh my god! The old man took it!
Person 1: Hey, old man, come back here!

They run out of the bathroom and chase the old man

Person 2: I can catch up to him.

Person 2 tackles the old man

Person 2: We got him.

Person 1 sees guacamole on a table

Person 1: Is that guacamole?
Person 2: I love guacamole.

They proceed to eat the guacamole and forget about the bathroom; and washing their hands...

Typical conversations
MaddenAIMPhoneGangstaMcDonald'sRedneckWaiting on line at a bankBathroom stallsIdioticEmo