The Oracle

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Here, take a cookie. I got the recipe from this Hannibal Lecter fellow.

The Oracle is another entity/program in The Matrix. By now, The You should know if "The" is in The Front, The It's from The Matrix.

"She" was once used by vending machines to understand human nature and then exiled as a fail whale. This happened because "she" was a kluge-fest of Windows 7, the Apple Newton, MS Paint, Clippy, Alexa and Bonzi Buddy programming. Like Agent Smith, "she" has gone rogue but has evolved into a grandmotherly presence. And this is a standard ultimate grandma, the one you had before she kicked you out of her place for using it as a crack house.

The Oracle eventually became that from further study of human psyches and could predict their actions to an uncanny degree. Too easy. Just think of the stupidest thing you can, and there you have it. It is remarkable that she can predict the future so well for Neo and the like, since they hardly act human at all.

When not handing out candy or baking cookies, The Oracle hangs out around The Matrix waiting for Neo or whoever to pass by for a little friendly advice and a piece of candy. I mean, she already has her spies out, but this cuts down from very critical cookie baking time. This also makes us wonder: are these virtual cookies and candy that don't give you virtual cavities and virtual diabetes or what? And why isn't The Oracle a lardbutt if she's always eating sweets? The Merovingian is always chowing down and drinking but does his henchman The Trainman get cookies? Plus there's all that smoking. So many questions, so little time. I need a cookie.