The Facts of Life

Where are they now?

• 

  Mrs. Garrett was finally exposed as a demonic presence that sacrificed Eastland School students in horrific ways. She was removed as a house mother and was made the vice principal.

• 

  Natalie became a New England mobster, dealing in stock manipulation, cooking drugs and enslaving women.

• 

  Tootie went on to become US National Security Adviser and Secretary of State. However, since she used big words, Dubya never understood a word she said.

• 

  As expected, Jo became a WWE wrestler, following that with a career teaching New Jerseyese to immigrants.

• 

  Blair gained superpowers after exposure to radioactive shampoo and became the Scarlet Witch.

• 

  Molly has never aged a day, and so has not been allowed to advance in grade due to strict school rules. She will be forever doomed to relive her childhood and eat cafeteria food for the rest of her life.