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Captain Obvious, always there to fist bump a fan.

A superhero is someone who dresses up like it's Halloween or as if they were trying to compete with Boy George in a fashion contest. The superhero may be a he or a she or both or neither, and may come from Earth or not. He/she/it will have at least one superpower which is always up for debate, since some people think that picking good fruit at the market is not a superpower.

Superpowers always seem to be accidentally acquired. You may wonder if you are a superhero that has just not been fully evolved yet. If you plan on seeing if you have flying abilities, it is recommended you start by leaping out of a first floor or basement window as a test. Make sure the window is open first. If you are successful, it is only then that you should take on the infant children of supervillains before moving up to the real thing.

Superheroes typically have emotional issues that rival any schizophrenic or emo. This is probably due to being completely unable to ever utterly destroy a rival supervillain that keeps coming back again and again, even from death. With several supervillains for every superhero, full superhero employment is guaranteed but advancement in pay grade is always in doubt during the annual superhero employee review.

More about superheroes[edit]