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      You are probably here by mistake and searching for John Hancock, no doubt?

“Mr. Jefferson, why are you signing Mr. Hancock's name, and why so big?”

~ Ben Franklin*

A massive fine, you say? For forgery? I'll just have my friend Rockefeller write you a cheque.

~ Otto Wacker

You got Gordon Ramsay's autograph? That's... we'll get you to the A&E right away.

~ Your mate

Just sign here!

~ The Devil, to Eric Clapton at the crossroads at midnight

Just sign here!

~ The Devil, delivering your UPS package
* Rebuttal from Thomas Jefferson:
So they told me to put my John Hancock on the bottom of the document, so I wrote "John Hancock" just like they told me. Then they got all mad and everything. And for doing just what they told me to do. I wish people would explain these things better. Just like on the packages that say "tear here". I cry and nothing happens, so I got all these boxes of stuff that I can't figure out how to open. Is everyone out to pwn me or it something else?