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There is nothing better than fully-clothed sex on a bed of sawdust on a sunny day. In Switzerland, anyway.

Sawdust is a wood product, in case you were wondering. In northern Italy, it is called "Pinocchio's little brothers", but the also call bowling pins and dildos the same thing. Not real imaginative, if you ask me.

Look at a table. LOOK!!!! PAY ATTENTION, WILLYA! Okay, did you ever wonder how the table got from being a tree into a piece of furniture? Some guy ground out everything that wasn't a table and ended up with a table and lots and lots of sawdust. Termites or woodpeckers could have done the same thing, but it would have taken them slightly longer. Still, they would have had more fun. The point is, whenever there is a tree, it eventually gets turned into sawdust, mostly.

So what can we use sawdust for? It can be used to stuff dolls and stuffed animals. It can be used to build rockets to outer space but it don't work so good that way. Eventually, though, we are still left with piles and piles of sawdust. If we didn't use it up somehow, we'd be up to our gazongas in sawdust. Pressing sawdust into fireplace logs helps but they do not fool woodpeckers and basilisks who like to live in your woodpile or disused fireplace.

So, the solution? We BURN sawdust! With FIRE! Hot and glowing, with its captivating dancing flames reaching higher and higher!!! Red, orange, yellow flames with smoke rising higher and higher until we all reach orgasm, dancing naked while reveling in the carnage and finality of... Uh, at least that's what they say about what pyromaniacs like, anyway. With "they" meaning "worshippers of Baal", truth be told.