Roach coach

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Roach coach?

I don't need no coach to help me roll a doobie or even help me smoke it. Are you sayin' I ain't doing it right or what? If I wasn't the mellow blissed-out cat you see before you, I would be wipin' the floor with you right now for sayin' shit like that. You can bet on that, homes. And I don't need you to help me smoke this up, neither. You can git your own. I only share with those in need, you feel me? But no, I'm stayin' chill so you need to be equal to that, you hear? 'kay, you got your own, no problems. I was just sayin'. No offense meant. Peace. Peace, bro. Whu?

Oh, do I want somethin' from the roach coach? Ohhhhhh. Seeing as this is my third smoke, yeah, I'm gettin' pretty hungry fo' sho. So I'll take a cheeseburger with everything, a bag of Cheetos, naw, make it two, and some kind of pastry thing. And a real big orange soda, too. You know I'm good for it and I'll get you back on Thursday, 'kay?

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Roach coach, or simply go here.

Yo!!! Come back!!! You need to write my order down so you get it right! Damn.