River of No Return

From Wackypedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Not you again!!

The River of No Return is a unique watercourse. So much so that it has been designated one of the 7 billion Wonders of the World, right next to canned spaghetti and ternite berets.

It is called that because it is the only river in the world that does not turn back on itself and run back uphill. Whether this is just due to gravity being different where it lies or sheer stubbornness, scientists cannot say. Some experts like Giorgio Tsoukalis contend that, since the Earth is flat, this should not happen and that the River of No Return is just an optical illusion that causes bad hair as an aftereffect. Meanwhile the dinosaurs living in the center of the Earth note that the river may actually be circular, running through the planetary core and out again through secret tunnels. This makes perfect sense in light of the fact that the concept of "down" is an impossibility according to Intelligent design.