Rest and relaxation

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Tired yet?

“If you need me, just whistle. You know how to whistle don't you? Just put your lips together and turn your entire body inside out around them. It's kinda hard the first couple of times but it's worth it.”

“So Adele, did you end up buying Susan Boyle's old bed? You know, the one with the fridge built into the headboard?”

Rest and relaxation (Fudd: west and wewaxation) is important if you want to have a productive work day tomorrow. This means you need to avoid thinking about your fuckups and problems when you try to go to sleep. That's hard to do, right, you loser?

The solution? At bedtime, take your television remote and enter the following cheat code: PREV-PREV-NEXT-REPLAY-REPLAY-VOL(up)-LEFT-UP-LEFT-RIGHT-MENU. Then point it at your forehead and press ON. You will immediately fall into a deep REM sleep and will be totally refreshed for the next day. Now before you do that, you first need to set the timer to wake you. If you didn't do that first and just went ahead and put yourself to sleep, you need to hope that Prince Charming or your Mom has the key to your place.

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