|This page seems completely normal, unless you hovver and discover it's redside!|
“Pokey-mum? Is that like a soccer mum?”
|Please note: The writer of this article stole most of this text directly from Anne Frank's Diary|
Pokémon is essentially the brainchild of a fat American watching popcorn. It's thought the idea for pokemon came about randomly in the form of a dove - that flew into the window of video game designer Mr Yagamuchi. Yagamuchi quickly turned on his window electricity and laughed
stereotypically fanaticly at the cooked bird. Later collecting his fried bird he began playing "war" with the deceased bird's various limbs and using the feathers in a complicated way of calculating "damage".
When the his mum arrived back home from a tough day at the salt mine to find her balding son playing with dove body parts she
gave up and died sent him to "creativity camp" where he achieved a masters degree in Imagination and a minor in Campness. An accomplished creativorist he set about on creating the greatest game ever. With his friend from the creative camp toilets they wrote the blueprint for the Pokemon games and even threw in a free pair of 3D goggles with every version bought of the game.
Anime and lead wine gives you brain damage x
Team Rocket - A bunch of criminals often brought in for comic relief. They rely on such witty puns as "we're blasting off again!, "We've gotta kill Pikachu., and a theme song. They get to wear snazzy outfits and boots that match their black black hearts.
Man, What was I on when I wrote this?
Pokemon Trading Cards!
Some very odd induviduals like to supplement their diet with tradable pieces of parchment (often believed to be called pokemon cards by lesser craniologists). With ridiculously pointless (all sharp corners were rounded down) pieces of inflation. These come in packs of eleventy which are ridiculously high priced with a wafer-fat profit monopoly going to the greek-ish monks whose tireless endeavours make this all pose-able. The point wasn't that these don't count to your five a day and only weigh as much as a dead velvet revolver.
Video Games (Foreplay for uber Japanese uniks)
These "games" are often considered the most profitable pass-time ever, affectionately referred to as the best game ever by happy fans. The games give the victim benefits such as liver recovery and smiliness.
Pokemon Go is a game about these things for mobile devices. Despite the fact that there are over 700 Pokemon, this game only features the stupidest Pokemon and a few others that are just in there because they're popular. Even some of the Pokemon themselves hate this game. It was created only to get obese people to go outside and get some exercise, but somehow, skinny and slightly plump people discovered the game and started to play it. Even people who you would've never pegged for Pokemon fans play it. The game ENSLAVED people to become Pokemon trainers. Now, the game kills the brain cells of thousands of people daily, and causes them to become as stupid as the Pokemon themselves on their quest to "catch" them, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE JUST IMAGES ON MOBILE DEVICES in this game. People do stupid things they wouldn't have done normally thanks to Pokemon Go. You probably play Pokemon Go, and are turning stupid thanks to it.
Research shows that after playing Pokemon Go for 24 1/2 days, all your brain cells will be lost. So, do us a favor, please: don't play Pokemon Go.
How do you get pikachu on a bus?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha whateva.