Philadelphia

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The Rocky statue as it was being arrested after holding up Czerw's delicatessen.

Hey, Adele, were you looking for cheesesteak? ~ Tamia


“I was born here on Wednesday, 06 July 1949”

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is known as "The City of Brotherly Love."

This is because if you're not a real close blood relative, you're going to get your ass kicked. Now Philadelphians do adopt children, but that's only to sell them to ISIS after they toughen up on the streets of Philly. Do not feel sorry for these kids, as being a slave for ISIS is a much nicer deal than growing up in Philadelphia. And they can get to drive earlier than in Pennsylvania.

Visiting Philadelphia is fine if you stick to the touristy areas. Just stay out of the rest of Philadelphia, which is split up into four-block neighborhoods that its residents almost never leave. If you are found walking around in any neighborhood and are not recognized as a resident, someone will always call their grown kids living next door to come out and dance on your head. Calling 911 will bring the police, but all the neighbors will deny seeing anything, and the cops will beat you up again for wasting their time.

So this city is not for the faint of heart. Go back to your South Central L.A., your Chicago Southside, any of your Iraqi cities, you sissies.

See also[edit]

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