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When you become dictator, always choose someone loyal to be your vice president.

Paraguay alway had the best dictators.

None of that off-the-rack stuff for those guys. Nope it was big epaulets with dangly stuff, huge peaked hats, racks of medals that had to be made of aluminum because all of Paraguay's dictators could stand up. It was just too bad when Coco Chanel kicked the bucket, since her uniforms for the Nazis were the best.

But apparently, clothes do not make the man. In 1864, little Paraguay got all puffy and threatened huge Brazil for it threatening to invade Uruguay. Paraguay then invaded Brazil and also declared war on Argentina on its other side since it seemed like a good idea at the time. Brazil, Argentina AND Uruguay then invaded Paraguay. Paraguay lost big time; losing half its population, up to a third of its territory and had to pay war reparations besides. Not such a good idea, then.

After this beating, Paraguay went on to pick a fight with another neighbor, Bolivia, and won, because Bolivia was good at losing. This was bookended with civil wars, as the uniform craze took hold over all Paraguayans.

So if you see armed soldiers in the streets, it's probably Paraguay at it again.

See Oslo[edit]