Oven

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Gingerbread house.jpg

Okay, Hansel! We did it!! The witch is in the oven!! Now let's get out of here!! We can finally go home now.

Stay? Why??? This place has nothing but scary memories. I don't like it here, even with all the gingerbread and candy. Yes, I agree, we should eat first before we go back into the forest. We can put some gingerbread into a sack and take it along. Some candy for energy, too.

Meat? There was no meat in the house when we got here. That's why that beeyotch tried to eat us, dummkopf. Wait. Wait. One. Second. You don't mean you want to eat her? Ewwwww! She's real old and stringy and tough and... Yeah, I forgot you like beef jerky. Look, there's plenty of gingerbread around. Have you gone all paleo diet all of a sudden? Jeez. And stop drooling. It's really scary. I don't know you anymore.

Look, we're just a couple of little kids. We don't know anything about cooking, much less cooking witches. Aren't we supposed to put spices on her first or something? How long are you supposed to cook her, anyway? Do you have to open the oven door to baste her? Sounds dangerous if you ask me. Shouldn't you throw in a couple of potatoes, too?

Doesn't need any of that? How would you know? YOU'VE EATEN A WITCH BEFORE??? Wha? When??? You're joking, right? The barbecue last July? You mean the one where David Hasselhof's grandmama disappeared... Ohhhhhhh. Wowee. You know, she was pretty mean, but I never thought... Hey, she still owed me quarter pfennig for babysitting. So now you owe me a quarter pfennig.

Actually, that smells pretty good. Maybe I will have just a little tiny bit. But you can't tell anybody, okay? I would just die if we were sitting waiting for a table in restaurant and heard them make an announcement for "Donner party of two".