Original quotes

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Don't Cry for Me, Argentina. After her famous speech, Eva Peron would fail to account for the wind when throwing oranges to her adoring followers, with tragic results.

Over the years, quotes have become slightly altered though sometimes for the better (damn you, Ken Burns!). Here are the original, actual quotes (swear!).

You better think!
(Think! Think!)
'Bout what you're tryin' to do to me
(Think! Think!)
Give me death or Liberty!
Ohhh, freedom!...

~ Thomas Jefferson

So like, eighty, nonono, like four score, something something, our forefather dudes, like, uhhhh, brought forth on, uh, this, like, continent thingie, a a a new (that's it!), like, nation...

~ Abraham Lincoln

Don't be evil.

~ Google code of conduct, deleted in 2018 to imitate Facebook policy

Mission accomplished.

~ George W. Bush, upon leaving no government in Iraq and thus creating ISIS

It was my mistake and I'm sorry. I accidentally included my data.

~ Mark Zuckerberg, testifying before Congress about Cambridge Analytica

It was my mistake and I'm sorry. We needed more cowbell and Mark Zuckerberg.

~ Martin Bormann at the Nuremberg trials

It was my mistake and I'm sorry. I should have taken that condo at Mar-a-Lago instead.

~ Osama bin Laden