Octomania

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Octohuman shopping.jpg

Octomania is the new craze sweeping the nation. It might not be your nation, but there it is.

After the Tide Pod Challenge and the Ice Bucket Challenge, people were looking for something a little less challenging. While COVID continues to be very popular in the United States, other people around the world were looking for something new to do. And that was Octomania.

The experience consists of having your head removed and replaced with a large octopus. This is particularly useful for dandruff sufferers, since octopuses don't get dandruff. Those concerned with recycling and Mother Nature will be happy to hear that all heads are used to feed the dwindling shark populations in our aquariums and supermarkets.

Just think: you now have all those extra arms to do things, saving hours a day. So you can play with your phone and still get other stuff done with your other phone. You'll have so much extra time to plot overthrowing the governments of Earth and everything else you wanted to do but never had the time.

There is only two minor catches. Since your head is gone, so are you. But you will have a signed and notarized document where the octopus guarantees that your body will be taken care of properly. Secondly, you will have to avoid Asian restaurants, for obvious reasons.

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