Mordor

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Now why did you think it was called Mordor?

Mordor is a popular tourist destination located over in the back of beyond next to god-knows-where.

First off, get the pronunciation right. You must roll the first "r" and not the second, so it's more like Morrrrrrrrdor. Cats get it right so you should be able to do the same. In either case, you'll still sound like a fey idiot.

Mordor is surrounded by lofty mountains on three sides, reminiscent of the Salt Lake City area. However, it goes that city one better by having the volcano Mount Doom providing a big show every hour on the hour. There is cave access to the inner workings of Mount Doom, where it has become a tradition to throw rings or someone wearing a ring into the lava pit. Gas masks and oxygen tanks can be rented at reasonable rates or you can bring your own. Or just hold your breath.

While the tower of Barad-dûr with its all-seeing eye is no more, there is an equally evil five-star Ritz-Carlton hotel available. It has an all-orc staff, meaning no yelling at any of them. For those forgetting that one simple rule, there is a choice of being shipped home squashed into a little box or being served up for their fabulous Sunday brunch buffet. The potato salad there is to die for, which the locals farmers did and will be found ground up and mixed in that dish.

Of course, Mordor is famous for its many Amazon distribution warehouses. Tourists can visit and watch beatings and torture being meted out to slackers who think they get to take things like lunch breaks. Visitors can also get sent home squashed into a little box if they have their Amazon Prime account records handy.


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