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“¡Ay, Dios mios! A gringo customer!”

~ Mr. Wing, putting aside his Taco Bell dinner

“Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Got one of those?”

~ Billy's dad, shopping

“Don't put it near light, especially sunlight, which will kill it. Do not let it come in contact with water, and most importantly of all, no matter how much it cries or begs, never feed it after midnight.”

~ The Warning. Dun, dun, DUNNN!

“Does that include Daylight Savings Time?”

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Gizmo, Dad wants you to stop drinking from the toilet. It's still okay for me, though.”

“Hey Billy! We made you a chocolate shake!”

~ Stripe, while his buddies hide the arsenic bottle

“Here ya go, Gizmo. Dad found this all-night diner with great burgers and I got you one. Then you get a bath, and tomorrow, we all go to the beach!”

“Boy, are your kids really ugly!”

“What's black and black and goes 300 miles an hour?”

“Moar beer!!”

~ Gremlins

“I can see my house from here!”

~ Mrs. Deagle, on her chairlift as she approached the stratosphere.

“Moar Snow White!”

~ Gremlins

“Oy, gevalt! Fershlugginer roundeye Yankee schmegeggies!”

~ Mr. Wing
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mogwai, or simply go here.