Manipulate

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Manipulation works if you can't dance.

Manipulation is the act of pwning someone or something.

Now if you're like most people or armadillos, you probably think you can't be manipulated. Well, guess what. You're still reading what's being written here, so you have been manipulated. Ta-daaa! See, it happens all the time. Also, if you have that average 8-second attention span that made you stop reading well before this, you have been manipulated by the internet and internet culture.

Now, before your get all depressed and try to throw yourself down the garbage disposal, here's something to consider. Now that you're woke and everything about this, you can try to avoid being manipulated. It won't work, but still. You can blame the Illuminati, reptilian aliens, the shadow government or your little sister all you like. But none of them care and they are always talking about you behind your back so they can pwn you that much better. So chill and just act really dumb just like you are doing right now.

You'll probably get the idea that you can go out and freely manipulate other people. Unfortunately, you don't have the good instruction book. Also think about what happened the last time you tried to con your friend into loaning you a twenty. After all, you can only get thrown out of a window so many times before it starts to take its toll. Especially if you move out of that basement apartment. So leave manipulation to the pros and just stay out of their way by hiding under your bed.