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From today's featured article You will need the following: The island of Barbados. It must be as fresh as possible. Do not question. The vengeful spirit of Julia Child. Accept no substitutes. 3 used Boeing 747s in passenger configuration and with original Rolls Royce engines. The true punk DIY attitude as demonstrated by a classic Mohawk, any color other than ultraviolet. The soul of a pangolin that was raised by the Atlantean civilization. A large sprig of parsley. Read on... From yesterday's featured article It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, the maid screamed as the lights went out and plunged us into darkness. 'Get the lights, man!' I called to Lord Havesham's manservant standing by the door. 'Forgot to pay the electrical bill again, old man?' Milord's neighbor Reggie was always there with a quip no matter the situation. The lights came back on to reveal Lord Havesham slumped over in his chair at the dining room table with a knife in his back. Dead. My eye caught the dish of pickled cucumbers that had mysteriously appeared on the table. Everyone was frozen in place... read on... Did you know... ... that a pie in the face is worth two in the bush? ... the hoover was invented by Henry Vacuum Cleaner? ... that eating spaghetti while riding a roller coaster is not a good idea? Ask me how I know. ... that lightning never strikes twice in the same place unless it does just that? ... the lunatics have taken over the asylum? That means I get to choose meatloaf for dinner! ... that I know you knew ten minutes before I wrote this that I would write this? And I knew it ten minutes before you even thought that? ... that I'm Barry Scott?!! I'm here to tell you that Cillit Bang gets those tough mayo stains out of your sink, and not just on Cinco de Mayo! ... that orange is the new orange? Again. ... I have pants made of live ostriches and I'm not afraid to use it? ... that colorless ideas may sleep furiously, but only Elon Musk can snore in pinkness while the entire world is awake? ... that on 4 December 1857, in northern Canada, shit happened? ... that the fastest animal in the universe is the housecat, who can rip through the fabric of space-time and your best clothes simultaneously? ... that bananas are the cause of more fruit-related accidents than Harry Potter? ... boredom is its own reward? ...that Chief Little Crow (1810-1863) spent much of his life in Minnesota, where he was the head of a Santee band? ...that the duchy of Upper Bavaria was created for the first time with the First Bavarian partition in 1255 under duke Louis II but there was no exact identity with the current territory? ...that NuBlues was discovered by Grammy Award-winning artist Chris Thomas King, known to many for his performance in O’ Brother, but well known also as a performer in his own right? ...that in 2000, Madoka Mako produced a manga titled The History of Japanese Christianity, a controversial work among Japanese Christians? ...that negative pulldown describes the film perforations per frame, the direction of film transport, and standard frame speed? More DYKs – Add your own >>>	Hot Off The Press: Mississippi secedes from Confederacy Tulsa rally a yuge success Rowling goes for a treble Dew. Not. Seek. The. Treasure. It's been found!!! Escaped Nazi found dead Kim didn't disappear, says N. Korea Social distancing is #1 on the charts! Extra! Extra! Read all about it! The Daily White House report WackyNews – Add news >>> Seemed like a good idea at the time The mysterious message left at the site of the Lost Colony of Roanoke. I'm taking requests. Headhunter by Front 242? A-one, a-two... On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog. Ya, right. Independence may be imminent. “We are an armed liberation front. Armed with forks that is! teehee...” ~ Antipodean Wackypedian He's come to clean BOWLS! YA CAN'T GET DODGIER THAN A KWIK FIT FITTER, THEY'RE THE ONES TO BUST If article be coherent, remain calm for your gas masks, otherwise jump and shout like a donkey with rabies. If article be coherent, delete for being un-raF*CKTHISSH*TI'MMADESTROYRANDOMWERKbe coherent, keep for being interesting, otherwise keep for being nonsense. Rubbercop is a terrible movie. Can't deny he has bouncebackability though. Shakin' shakin' salt and bacon IT IS TIME TOTALITARIANISM ICE CREAM APATHY DUCK EQUALITY COMMUNISM NONSENSE THE OPPOSITION CHOOSE WISELY, FOR EACH WIELDS GREAT POWER. MAY THE SPORKS BE WITH YOU. Eighteen inch alloys? I have them! You're going home in a St. John's ambulance. CRAP! IT'S THE HOTLINE OF FATE! PICK IT UP! PICK IT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! KAWASAKI! MONSTER HAKA! HOOOUGHGHGH! More... – Add your mad gibber >>> Anti-feature JONATHAN
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