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Featured article

Woman in match.jpg

It was a dark and stormy night. The Little Match Girl was barefoot, her feet turning blue and red from the cold as the cold rain turned into freezing rain. She had taken off her Nikes for just a moment when a bigger boy came along and stole them, saying that little girls shouldn't play with gunboats, whatever that meant.

She walked from crack house to gay bar to whorehouse trying to sell her boxes of matches,

Read on...

Previously featured

Audrey Hepburn Fred Astaire.jpg

Fred A. Stare was an American staring champion from 1938 to 1968.

Inspired by his movie hero Buster Keaton, he was always good at staring as a child. The future champion was also skilled at sticking his tongue out just as people had to look away. He beat all the neighborhood children as well as most of the adults in his hometown. The young Fred then went on to truly test himself by

Read on...

Did you know...

  • ... There is a 50% chance of the odds being 50%?
  • ... that if you sleep with your mouth open, you can accidentally swallow your own head?
  • ... that 5 is fivier than any other number in existence except for 8?
  • ... that the British are c... They already came and went, didn't they? Damn.
  • ... that instructions for butter churn repair have been dropped by the Google app store?
  • ... that snakes are never longer than themselves?
  • ... I forgot what I was going to write here? Don't you hate it when something something?
  • ... the rain in Spain stays mainly on your brain on the train going down the drain in Maine, insane?
  • ... CAPTCHA is asking you how many traffic lights you are seeing?
  • ... it's time? For what, I don't know. I'm only the messenger.
  • ... that, each year, more people eat cheesecake than killer bees?
  • ... if you were a mosasaur, you'd be too extinct to finish reading this section?
  • ... it's time for the Manson Family reunion and picnic? Run.
  • ... that the darkest hour is just before... oh, wait. We're THE BAD GUYS! And WE'RE WINNING!!! We are the champions, my friend... Hooyah! Hooyah!
  • ... that there is no Death: you are merely reconnecting with your environment.
  • ... that sharks continually regrow new teeth, making your new career as a shark dentures salesperson a complete joke?
  • ... that exempt for turtles, humans are the the only animal that can proofread?
  • ... that dinosaurs are playing with firecrackers inside the hollow Earth?
  • ... that it's time?
  • ... that if you have a song in your heart, it must now be in a compatible format?
  • ... in a race between a sloth and continental drift, the sloth wins only 16% of the time?
  • ... it took a real long time, but somebody finally gave light a speeding ticket.
  • ... that leaving no stone unturned means including Mick and Keith?
  • ... that the US Open is a lie and closes after 9PM? How's someone going to get a hot dog and a drink then?
  • ... that confuzzlement is its own reward?
  • ... that Leo Tolstoy began writing War and Peace on Wackypedia's DidYouKnow but quit after failing to grasp HTML tags?
  • ... that that's that and not a ziggurat?
  • ... All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
  • ... that the exact date can be figured by the length of day, so long as you have a long enough ruler to do the measurement?
  • ... that a pie in the face is worth two in the bush?
  • ... the hoover was invented by Henry Vacuum Cleaner?
  • ... that eating spaghetti while riding a roller coaster is not a good idea? Ask me how I know.
  • ... that lightning never strikes twice in the same place unless it does just that?
  • ... the lunatics have taken over the asylum? That means I get to choose meatloaf for dinner!
  • ... that I know you knew ten minutes before I wrote this that I would write this? And I knew it ten minutes before you even thought that?
  • ... that I'm Barry Scott?!! I'm here to tell you that Cillit Bang gets those tough mayo stains out of your sink, and not just on Cinco de Mayo!
  • ... that orange is the new orange? Again.
  • ... I have pants made of live ostriches and I'm not afraid to use it?
  • ... that colorless ideas may sleep furiously, but only Elon Musk can snore in pinkness while the entire world is awake?
  • ... that on 4 December 1857, in northern Canada, shit happened?

Hot off the press:

  • Happy New Year! Let's hope 1347 is better than last year.
  • Extra! Extra! Read about nothing much else!

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Seemed like a good idea at the time

Worst. Flashmob. Evah.


He who hesitates is lost.

Judge thy neighbor's fridge

magnets as if they were
your own mother's penguins

Crustaceans 4:13

Answer the question
Question the answer

Obligatory shark image.
Are you prepared? Are you a candelabra?

He looks just like you! Sorry, she.

The cake is NOT a lie! It's right there under the rattlesnake cake topper, I just know it!

The Tower of Babel was just a bungalow. Pass it on.

Fish fry fiddle flapjack. Fnord. All your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base your base.



The mysterious message left at the site of the Lost Colony of Roanoke.


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