Like Button

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If ISIS gave me a like, I suppose I should give them one, too.

The Like Button rules your world.

You have been trained all your life to get approval and be validated by it. Whether it was the "good job!" for not doing anything in particular, to getting participation awards in sports despite your team never winning a game, to always getting thrown a Purina people chow nugget reward for not peeing on the floor, it is hard to say when this cultural thing started.

Consider that netizens now have an attention span of 8 seconds. While you humans probably gave up reading this long ago, goldfish have longer attention spans and we carry on here for their benefit.

And so, we live on every social media platform that exists in order to get the maximum number of "Likes", "Follows" and "Shares". And we will do everything possible to get them. This makes serial killers and stalkers very happy but does get them to hit that Like Button. Wackypedia got a "Like" from a goldfish once, when its bowl tipped over and hit somebody's keyboard before causing a short and explosion. Of course, that was the only one and we're really bummed about it.

In the end, we should all shut off our phones and spend the day without them, enjoying the sunshine and life in general. Then we can live life on our own terms and not in lockstep with what Facebook or TikTok tells us.

Yes, we were kidding! But we had you going for a minute there, didn't we?

See Oslo[edit]