Letter (message)

From Wackypedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Forget about sending letters. Paperless is the way to go!

A letter is a strange, obsolete method of communication, often using paper.

Examples follows:

Letter[edit]

Dearest Valued Friend,

We have attempted to contact you via account messaging, by email, and phone text message and voice message. We have been unsuccessful in reaching you.

This is to inform you that you need you to allow Google to effect routine updates to your Google account. Just log in and this will done automatically.

Thank you for your time and have a great day!

Your Buddies at Google

Reply[edit]

To Whom It May Concern,

Thanks for your interest. I don't have a Google account so this doesn't apply to me.

Have a great day yourselves!

R. R. Raskalnikov

Letter 2[edit]

Dearest Valued Friend,

We have been unable to contact you via account messaging, by email, and phone text message and voice message. We have been unsuccessful in reaching you by mail for the second time

This is to inform you that you need you to allow Google to effect routine updates to your Google account. Just log in and this will done automatically.

Thank you for your time and have a great day!

The Team at Google

Reply 2[edit]

Dear Google Team,

Thanks for your concern, but I don't have a Google account. You can stop notifying me about a problem that I don't think exists.

Sincerely,

R.R. Raskalnikov

Letter 3[edit]

Dearest Google user,

This is our third attempt to contact you about allowing us to fix your Google account. You must do this within 30 days or we will be forced to close your account.

The Google Team

Reply 3[edit]

Dear Google Team,

Sorry, but if you check your records, you will find I don't have a Google account. Please remove my name from what appears to be a general notification list. Thanks!

R. Raskalnikov

Letter 4[edit]

From:Google

It is important you update your Google account immediately. Failure to do may compromise your bank account and health plan as well as potentially deleting your tax records.

Reply 4[edit]

To Whom It May Concern:

Please, what do my bank account, health plan and tax records have to with any Google account, which I don't have in the first place? This sounds serious, so I am signing up for a Google account, which I hope will solve the problem.

R. Raskalnikov

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Letter (message), or simply go here.

Letter 5[edit]

Dearest Valued Friend,

We have attempted to contact you via account messaging, by email, and phone text message and voice message. We have been unsuccessful in reaching you.

This is to inform you that you need you to allow Google to effect routine updates to your Google account. Just log in and this will done automatically.

Thank you for your time and have a great day!

Your Buddies at Google

See also[edit]