Jellied eel

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Jellied eels are a favorite traditional food in the London area of the United Kingdom. As advertised, it is hunks of cooked eel in spiced gelatin.

It is thought the British people just like jiggling food, whether alive or dead, hot or cold. This is proven by the fact that there are over a thousand fatalities each year in England alone from the accidental consumption of grass-skirted hula dancer figures and bobbleheads of various types.

With the restoration of cleaner waters in the Thames, it is now not unusual to see people making a human chain hanging from Tower Bridge to catch eels. There is no limit to either how many eels can be caught, nor people in one chain. Eels are then cooked on the spot with gelatin added. However, human chains have now encouraged Great White sharks to swim up the Thames for an easy meal that requires no cooking.

This is curiously in contrast to the traditional method of British cooking, known as incineration. This style was invented by no less than King Alfred the Great at Everything but Baking in the Middle Ages. Applied to everything except toast, incineration insures that if something once jiggled or wiggled, it wiggles no more.


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