HowTo:Make a cheese sandwich

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You will need the following:

  • The island of Barbados. It must be as fresh as possible. Do not question.
  • The vengeful spirit of Julia Child. Accept no substitutes.
  • 3 used Boeing 747s in passenger configuration and with original Rolls Royce engines.
  • The true punk DIY attitude as demonstrated by a classic Mohawk, any color other than ultraviolet.
  • The soul of a pangolin that was raised by the Atlantean civilization.
  • A large sprig of parsley.
  • A sharp knife.


  • Absorb the spirits of Julia Child and the pangolin. You will figure this out since you are now a punk.
  • When you reach full cthonic negative stasis, you will realize that all life is futile.
  • With your knife, cut the parsley into 3 equal parts.
  • Instruct each part to fly a 747 into the highest mountain on Barbados, Mount Hillaby
  • This will trigger a volcanic chain reaction, destroying all life as we know it. Thus, parsley ironically sticks it to The Man.
  • Buy a cheeseburger.
  • Remove meat, lettuce, pickles, lettuce, tomato, lettuce, mustard, onions, lettuce, ketchup, as much salt as you can and lettuce.
  • Close up the balance. You may use the knife to square off the bun if you like.
  • And enjoy! Serves one.

HowTo for foodies

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This article is just one of many
from the depths of Happycat's toy box.

Preparation time: 10-15 minutes

Rating: ♣¤