Happy Meal

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Just look at all tha happiness!

What do mean, "What is it?" It's a Happy Meal!

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting your Mom keeps you chained to your bed and don't let you watch no TV. So, it's a kid-size meal with a damn toy in it. Now you don't get to actually have the toy, mind you, like always, but I'll let you look at it before I set fire to it in the parking lot. Anyway, it's supposed to have all the sugar and grease to meet your fukken daily requirements. Can't have you all skin and bones when the welfare lady stops by, do we? DO WE????!!!! Alright then.

So this should be making you happy. Why not? BE HAPPY!!! THAT'S AN ORDER!!! If you don't I won't let you watch the other kids play on the slide and stuff. That's better. You better watch yourselfs, buster, or you're gonna get it bad when we get home. Don't make me say it twice.

Wait a minute! I forgot to give you your damn meds! You shoulda reminded me, dammit! So take 'em all right now. Good. That reminds me that I gotta take mine, too, hey? Whoa, and I was thinking about driving off a cliff on the way home while we was standing in line there.

Meanwhile, when we're done, don't forget to put all your trash in the can over there. Then go out and stand quietly by the car trunk so I can let you in there. One day, when you get a little bigger, I'll let you ride on the hood like I used to.