Guacamole

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Why use traditional preparation methods as shown above when you have modern, efficient tools at your fingertips? Note that the cook here has allow the guacamole to turn brown from too much exposure to air.

Guacamole is a popular item used as a main dish topping or dipping medium for chips.

It is made of avocados, with just a few other ingredients added. The traditional recipe for a Mexican family of four is as follows:

  • 187 large ripe avocados
  • 15 Oaxaca onions, selected for frangibility
  • 3.3 gills of Francesco Ultimo tomatoes
  • 213 pennyweights of inorganic cilantro
  • 2 bulbs of Sinaloa garlic, without bullet holes
  • 3 forpets of blue jalapeño peppers
  • 2 standard Veracruzan measures of premium certified sea salt
  • 1/832 cubit of fresh or frozen lime juice from limes grown at 3,000 m (10,000 ft) above sea level. If not available, lime Jello may be substituted. This is the only ingredient that can be substituted.

The way to tell ripe avocados is quite simple. Just use your Gaggenau Hausgeräte handheld avocado analyzer to quickly scan through the pile at your local supermarket. It is a steal at $4,500 for this essential kitchen tool with disposable single-use cartridges at just $275 per pack of ten. Then use the tomato attachment ($895) to check out your Francesco Ultimo tomatoes as you will not be allowed to handle them.

Then gently peel the avocados with any of the high-end commercial avocado peelers on the market today. While that is happening, chop the other vegetables separately in your dacor-General Dynamics industrial chopper. This will insure a uniform size for these, mandatory for anal-retentive foodie family members who will hound you to your grave if you try this by hand. After removing the avocado seeds, place the avocados in your industrial-grade Bosch UltraMasher 3000 set to low. Then using your spectrograph, go through the sea salt grain by grain, rejecting any that have too much strontium. You'll know when that happens.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Guacamole, or simply go here.

Then take everything and place them in your CERN-certified neutronic mixer to blend the ingredients thoroughly. Scoop into a bowl and serve. Quick and easy! And your family will love it!

Preparation time: 10 minutes


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