“This article makes me so horny”
Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love. Fuck comes from the German word, "frikon". In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
Fuck can be used as a verb both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him). a active verb (he really gives a fuck), a passive verb (she really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (she is fucking interested in him) and a noun (she is a fine fuck). an adjective (she is fucking beautiful). As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with "fuck". It pops up everywhere. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:
GREETING - How the fuck are you? FRAUD - I got fucked by that crook DISMAY - Oh, fuck it! TROUBLE - I'm fucked now! CONFUSION - What the fuck?! AGGRESSION - "Fuck you!" DISGUST - "Fuck me" DESPAIR - Fucked again! PHILOSOPHY - "Who gives a fuck?" INCOMPETENCE - "He's a real fuck-off" DISPLEASURE - "What the fuck is going on here?" NUMEROLOGY - "Sixty-fuckin'-nine" LOST - "Where the fuck are we?" DISBELIEF - "Unfuckingbelievable RETALIATION - Up your fucking ass!" REBELLION - Fuck it! DISPLEASURE - What the fuck's going on? SATISFACTION - fuck me again!
Also as: DESCRIPTIVE ANATOMY - "He's a fuckin' asshole!" TO TELL TIME - "It's six-fucking-thirty." PREDICTION - "Well, I'll be fucked!" A POLITICAL STATEMENT - "Fuck Washington" INCESTUOUS - "Motherfucker" A PUT DOWN - "Fuck off, buster!" ALL ENCOMPASSING - "Fuck 'em all!" GOVERNMENTAL AFFAIRS - "Fuck the IRS" A POKER HAND- "A royal fuck" TO START A RELATIONSHIP - "Let's fuck now!" AS AN ACCEPTANCE - "Fuckin' eh!" ENJOYMENT - "Fuckin' Wow!" " A CLOSING - "Fuckingly yours". MATERNAL - "Motherfucker"
Never forget the quotes of some famous people in our history and in the present: Michelangelo: "You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling" George Custer: Where did all these Fucking indians come from? Einstein: "Any fucker can understand that" Mayor of Hiroshima: What the fuck was that? Heidi Fleuss: Fuck these celebrities! Mayor Richard Daley: Fuck the heat - - Chicago IL John Wayne: "Fuck death and the lung cancer he rode in on." Bill Clinton: What the fuck's this inhaling thing? Oliver North: You're all fucking liars! Sean Penn: Fuck: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck etc. Eddie Murphy: Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you. Who's next? Jack Nicholas: Fuck this for a lark, 1995 British Open And last but not least, the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who said "Full speed ahead and fuck the iceberg" and five minutes later said "Where is all this fucking water coming from?
The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"? Use fuck in your daily speech proudly. Fuck adds prestige to any conversextion. Put this colorful four letter word to work for you. Today tell someone you know "fuck you" ... or "Let's fuck!"
This is a disclaimer. We know the origin of the word FUCK. When the puritans settled what is now Salem, they had this issue about pre-marital sex, they didn't approve of it. Not that it should matter to anybody except the two or three etc people are involved in in the privacy of their own home. Well these butt-inskies decided that sex should be a crime, and orgasms should be outlawed. Strange, how they thought they had the right to suppress one of God's greatest gifts while doing this in the name of God. Well If two people were caught in the act of having sex or even thinking about having sex they were brought to trial. If they were found guilty the crime they were committed of was "For Under Carnal Knowledge". They were put in the stockades and their crime was also carved in a piece of wood and placed over their heads. This was before the printing press or even before Black and Decker and God forbid Craftsman power tools (I like Craftsmans tools, even my chain saw is Craftsman). So all carving in wood had to be done not only by hand, but with handmade tools. Since they couldn't run over to England or Germany very easily, they didn't have any airplanes yet either, they had to try to conserve their tools and time. Just imagine carving the whole thing out when they could be out looking for young lovers to lock up or witches to burn at the stake. So they invented the acronym, which is a word or letter abbreviations for longer phrases. So if you were caught fucking around, and found guilty, you had the word F.U.C.K placed over your head while you spent time in the stockades. That is where the word came from and that is how it is associated with screwing. So please don't E-mail me and tell me that Fuck is not a German word. I fucking already know that.
This is a joke, it is something to be laughed and enjoyed, I hope. By the way, I also know that the first part is not really correct either. If you want to bitch about this letter, Fuck You and go to alt.bitch.about.anything and complain. :-)