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Forrest Gump in his natural habitat

Forrest Gump (1955-1994 -) is the dumbest man on earth with an IQ of -54664686847645645153. He has a wife, Jenny, a friend that's a head, Lieutenant Dan, a talking shrimp friend, Bubba and a sister, Pikachu. Gump has done such things as be a crippled child and became uncrippled by running after a visit with the doctor, plays 12234456565 football games in one hour with a college scholarship, gets killed in Vietnam and reincarnated himself, played 152521566 games of Ping Pong in 0.4567756 seconds and ran across the world in one day. He is now a bum that sits on a bench in the park eating 65456846867456564 pounds of chocolate per minute (and gains no weight!) and tells random people the stuff I'm about to tell you right now.


Forrest Gump with Jenny

Gump was 3.7 inches tall and was crippled boy until he ran out of the doctor's office and the mob healed him with their tough love. He went on the bus and 32232 out of the 75 kids wouldn't let Gump sit by them because he was a retard. Some innocent girl, Jenny let him sit in the 4th seat in the 2 seat platform, not knowing that from then on she would be the object of Gump's sick fantasies until the day he turned gay. Gump and Jenny spent 45 hours of the 128 minute day with each other. He also played Monopoly with his sister, Pikachu all day. 1 game per .2123 seconds.


Since Gump had no brain at all, he got a scholarship for a whole bunch of colleges and played football for all of them at the same time. 12234456565 to be exact. Jenny got a scholarship to be a lazy bum from an all-Female college, so Forrest got to see Jenny at her college. One of the colleges he played for was an all-Male college, and he got to see Kelly Ripa. He graduated and got an offering for the NFL and took it, but doesn't play. A magic warphole took Gump into an Army bus and he went into the Army.

The Army[edit]

Gump could load and unload a gun in .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds and the sergeant thought he had an IQ of 56165445655464564456545645644554. He met his talking shrimp buddy Bubba there. He also met Lieutenant Dan, his friend that's just a head with no body. Gump got killed in an alien invasion in Vietnam and reincarnated himself. Gump got out of Vietnam and became an Army bum playing Ping Pong for a job, played 152521566 games of Ping Pong in 0.4567756 seconds every time, beating the Chinese communists at their own game and stymying the revolution. Gump got kicked out of the Army for breathing 84648948486 times in .561489489484 seconds.

The Shrimp[edit]


Gump ate Bubba and caught 5775873878999779 shrimp in .4358466 seconds each time in a small net. He then took shrimp seeds and started a shrimp garden. He ate 5464242466587577537687 shrimp a minute. He was a shrimp tycoon in his stomach. As a result, Bubba's race was set forward 500332 years.


Gump whacked off in the presence of 64865 of the USA presidents for no reason.

The Run[edit]

Gump ran across the world in one day and looked like a hobo after. He ate nothing and didn't sleep a bit.

Apperentice of Emperor Aalpine[edit]

As all the other apperinteces of Emperor Aalpine, he walked on a green plain until hearing zooming sounds. He cleared the training and the 1- 6 missions, but did fail 5678948300299 times in the 7th mission.


Gump went to revisit Jenny and married her. She died and right after the funeral, she gave birth to Forrest Gump Jr. who was blessed with the retard gene. Forrest Gump died shortly after the premiere of his movie in 1994 and hired a retard impersonator to frequent park benches and tell random people the stuff I just told you. So if you want, hear it again by going to the park in England, Louisiana and look for Forrest.

His son's whereabouts are heretofore unknown.


  • Jenny


  • BUBBA!
  • USA Presidents

Rank Counting Nr.568889990090909009[edit]

  • Life:-6878990090099
  • Speed:0000000.01
  • Likely to die:- 56789000%
  • Swimming Style: Shrimp
  • Final Rank:-9876544433357889: Not too fast,eh,Forrest Gump!