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Rules of football
- Release 22 players on a freaking big football field which was built with money that could be used to give food to starving people.
- The persons then chase after a peculiar, leathery, impudently round object known as 'ball'.
- Once they catch it, they immediately kick it away in disgust even though they just chased it like there's no tomorrow.
- If the ball goes between any of the eight white sticks, the umpire makes a weird Star Wars type gesture and you get some points.
- If the ball goes between the goalposts you get two or three points, depending on the rules of the game.
- If the ball goes into a net then a point is scored.
- If you hit the ball so hard that you burst it you get a million points.
- You can throw, kick, chest, header and even buttock the ball in a vain attempt to get it upfield.
- A wicket is taken when the stumps are broken or the player hits the ball to a fielder without it bouncing.
Well, I did warn you. Pundits and experts who spend most of their time analysing the game have concluded that nobody knows what the chickenbutt is going on.