Flyswatter

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"You must always be prepared" ~ Jacques Clouseau.

A flyswatter is an important household device to hide from yourself so that it cannot be found when needed.

There is nothing more irritating than a fly buzzing around your head unless it is a fly buzzing inside your head. Therefore, the flyswatter was created to eliminate such pests. Over the years, it has proven to be more reliable than a shotgun or AK-47, the gun that won the East. Since the flyswatter has no measurable ammunition, flies are unaware of its presence until it is too late.

The device does require some degree of hand-eye coordination. Without it, the fly can easily knock it out of your hand and turn the tables. There is nothing worse than being chased around in your own home by an angry fly with a flyswatter and a kitchen knife to boot. Therefore, you should always carry your flyswatter self-destruct control with you at all times.

It is a much better solution than sticky flypaper. Recall the lessons of ancient Egypt who all believed in the phrase "there are no flies on me". Flypaper was used by ancient Egyptians, wrapping themselves completely in it to try to avoid the seasonal plague of flies. However, flypaper overapplication suffocated many users, leading to the mummies we see in museums today.