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  1. (noun), the guy in your family who will willingly go to jail for you but will beat the living crap out of you as punishment the day he gets out.
  2. (person), somebody named Art in heaven.
  3. (noun), someone who supposedly knows best but probably knows nothing, especially if you keep your mouth shut.
  4. (verb), to sire a child, usually followed by the phrase, "It wasn't me" unless the father is a thoroughbred horse.
  5. (noun), a priest, who probably is involved with definition #4 unless he is gay.