Fairy tales are tales told by fairies. Sometimes.
“Oooh I should say so petal.”
The Three Little pigs
Once there were three, umm whatchamacallits, pigs. So, they went to get jobs and houses. The first, retarded pig, built a house from straws. Then this wolf guy came and blew his house down. The second pig built a house out of twigs, and the wolf guy came and blew his house down. The third pig built a house of bricks. The wolf guy came again and tried to blow his house down, but it was too strong, so he went to Burger King instead.
Once there was this girl, Cindy, or Ella, or something. So she had two hideous stepsisters. one day the Prince had a ball. She said, "I wanna go to the ball", but her stepsisters didn't let her. So, at night, while she was scrubbing, the Fairy Godsurfer came and said, 'Hey dude, you should go to the ball", and she said "I know", and he said, "Dude, you should like, go". She said, "I can't my stepsisters won't let me", and he said, "So kill them", and she said, "That sounds nice". So he waved his magic surfboard and she was given a beautiful dress and an M16 and slaughtered her stepsisters. The Prince liked her and they got married and so on.
The Gingerbread man
Once upon a time, an old couple made a gingerbread man and ate him. The end