Days of the week

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Sunday: Like Saturday, but with less pizzazz. Just a little pizzazz. But then comes Monday, which turns all pizzazz to piss and ass.

Monday: The butt of days. Literally the butt because Monday's original name is Moonday. It was supposed to be like that because of Sunday, but they changed it due to moon=butt. However, they needed to make the butt joke stay a little by making it a day of school, work, and an excuse to whine.

Tuesday: 3rd day of week.

Wednesday: Named after Wednesday Addams. She is a little creepy girl on The Addams Family. No guys like her creepiness, excluding Pedo Bear. But when it comes to the actual DAY, it is sometimes abbreviated as Weds, meaning that despite Wednesday Addams's scariness, people marry on this day.

Thursday: Friday Eve. The King of Friday Anticipation.

Friday: FUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUN. Which seat can I take? Gotta get down on Friday!

Turd: It's short for Saturday.

Sensible Days
of Sanity:
  Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday | Santaday |  
of Insanity:
  Eebleday | Bleebleday | Squeebleday | Eeblesonkday | Fatterday | Phnoodleday
Sjinkday | Frinkday | Funday | Sonkday