Cracker Jack

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The original box design showing a sailor and his her dog honey badger.

Cracker Jack is an American snack food/candy consisting of syrup coated popcorn and one peanut. Therefore, it teaches peanut-loving children to lower their expectations after seeing dozens of peanuts on the bag art.

Cracker Jack once came in a box with a distinctive design; see illustration. While updated today to show a pimp with a pit bull, it once showed a young sailor with his dog. Or something. Where the naval connection comes from has been lost in the mists of time. In any case, the colorful box enabled bullies to spot any other kid with Cracker Jack from a mile away.

It has always included a prize inside the package which itself was something that children could use to house their pet cockroaches. The prizes were at one time very popular, small toys that were made of gold, silver, rubies and diamonds. Today, the prize is a Wackypedia joke written on a piece of paper and carefully placed so that when you tilt up the bag to eat a mouthful of Cracker Jack, you will choke on it. Sorry about that, but that's all we're able to get and we'll take it.

For those with no teeth[edit]